Don’t Just Listen to Understand. Listen to Change Your Mind

“A single conversation across the table with a wise man is better than ten years mere study of books.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Most of us don’t listen all that well. And it’s (mostly) not our fault. We were never trained to do it.

Ever since we were toddlers, we were taught to talk. Then talk more. Raise your hand. Share the answer. Present. But what happens now in a world where silence is more often our companion? Where the distance between us can only be narrowed by the power of connection?

Stephen Covey taught that we should “listen to understand, then to be understood.”

Steve Jobs took this a step further and didn’t just listen to understand, but listened to change his mind. He’d sit in meetings, ask hard questions, then if he became convinced to change his mind, he’d do it. Right there. Senior leaders at Apple say Steve had no problem pivoting 180 degrees in real-time, and often ended up disagreeing with himself, if someone shared something compelling with him.

This approach can serve us well, especially in a world starving for empathy, openness, and unity. One where we will only be able to solve our greatest problems together. Where, if we lead with answers, we will inevitably fail.

In one of your upcoming conversations, don’t just listen to understand, Listen to Change Your Mind, and see how you feel and how the other person feels. Watch for the difference it makes in your life and theirs, and in the world.